Your world has been rocked, no doubt, by the apparent delay in announcing the Charity of the Month. You sit at your computer on or around the 15th of every month, hitting the refresh button with increasing anxiety to learn where we should direct our payday donations. I’ve kept you waiting there for over two weeks leading to disciplinaries at work, broken marriages at home and stood up mistresses at motels. While I apologise for the upset, distress and scandal caused I had good reason: I don’t get paid no more.

Freed from the tyranny of payday we can now go by calendar months instead. It’s a far tidier system which, like decimalisation, may take some time to adjust to but will make life easier for the dim. All of which brings us to the grand announcement: it’s the DEC.

You’ll be familiar with the work of the DEC, having given to the Haiti earthquake appeal back in January. They’re an affiliation of major charities including Oxfam, World Vision, Care International and the British Red Cross who work together on major emergencies. Now they’re on the case of the Pakistan floods that hit last month, killing an estimated 1,600 people and affecting another 18 million. They need our help:

My donation can buy a ten-day family food pack or a couple of emergency survival packs or 5,000 water purification tablets. So can yours, here. Get on it!

Photo credit: DEC