I’ve achieved a great number of great things in my time as a Zero, some world changing, others on a smaller scale. You’ll remember, no doubt, that time I turned off a light for an hour and also, like I say, the other stuff that was on a smaller scale.
This week has seen one of the bigger bits of personal doing: I’ve left my job. Yes yes. I’ve left behind the world of self-made stress and pressures and targets, shed my pin striped suit and bowler hat, raced my last rat, filoed my last fax and bid farewell to the back-biting, office politicking and ruthless profiteering that is a day’s work in one of the world’s largest multinational… um… charities.
I’m heading back to uni to retrain as a social worker. It’s one of the meddlingest vocations around, one where I could help ex offenders straighten out and pre-offenders live right, where I could help substance abusers take it down a notch, help disableds get about a bit, and get a kicking from the tabloids for taking your children into care when you’ve done nothing to them or not taking them into care until after you’ve battered them to death. That’s some damn good do-gooding.
You can quit your own job and move to a more noble career, via two years of self-inflicted poverty, by emailing your boss here and telling them what you’d like to do with their genitals and a couple of Fruit Corners. In the meantime I’m off for a few weeks to see what they’re up to in Nepal and India.
Please refrain from burgling me.
Photo credit: The Zero