As a major celebrity on the world stage I carry with me the heavy burden of a certain knowledge; the knowledge that death will come for me soon. We fade quickly, those of us who burn most brightly. Death will come soon and in one of only three ways: a tragic car crash that cuts me down in my prime, a tragic accidental overdose that incriminates a lowlife pharmacist, or a tragic strangle-wank in the wardrobe of a five star hotel.

For others, death is less glamorous but no less likely because we live in a world of horrors where preventable diseases are still knocking about the poorer countries and wiping out generations in a tide of avoidable misery. Every year about a million people die from malaria, a statistic that is staggering in its awfulness.

We know how to treat malaria. It’s no mystery to us, there’s just lousy distribution of knowledge and resources in the world so that in the rich parts we worry over crow’s feet and liposuction and in the poor parts they worry over mosquitoes biting them to death. Admittedly, the rich part of the world also has an impressive range of cancers but I’m loading the dice here so that when, in the next paragraph, I announce Malaria Consortium is the Charity of the Month you’ll be more inclined to donate.

I am delighted to confirm that, following speculation caused by that last sentence, and what with April hosting World Malaria Day and all, Malaria Consortium is our new Charity of the Month. It does all kinds of good work around prevention, treatment and research in Ethiopia, Mozambique, Nigeria, Southern Sudan, Uganda, Zambia and throughout Asia. My student-sized micro-donation can do a hefty bit of good, particularly when joined by yours. We can buy a few mosquito nets, chip in for treatment and diagnostic kits, save a whole bunch of lives and feel pretty fantastic about it. We can do that here. And while you put in your credit card details I’m off to see if Reception’s got a half-decent belt I can borrow.

Remember me when I am gone away.

Photo credit: Malaria Consortium