Sadly it appears even yer man The Zero doesn’t care much about the announcement of the Charity of the Month. I not only forgot to announce it three days ago, I also forgot to write it and also to choose it. And also that it exists. It really is a very serious dereliction of duty tempered only by the fact that, like I say, no one actually gives a shit.

This month, with some reservation, I’m going for the British Legion’s Poppy Appeal. I say with some reservation; permit me to explain. The Poppy Appeal supports members of the armed forces and does an awful nice job of Remembrance Day marking those lost in the World Wars. That’s all good stuff. Those were some full on proper wars and all involved did a good job keeping democracy going and saving the world. Except for Hitler, who was a total cock through the whole thing.

But the appeal also supports veterans of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq which makes me feel a bit funny. Sure, they’re risking their lives and, sure, it’s brave and, sure, they don’t deserve to get blown apart and have us ignore them when they get back but… y’know. You know. Also, it makes me feel a bit like The Sun supporting ‘Our Boys’ and listening to Status Quo and reminiscing about the Belgrano and thinking about joining the Territorial Army because I’ve not got enough balls for the real thing but I like shooting things in the face.

Still, the World Wars. There was a generation doing good. There were millions of people dying and millions of people risking death. There was a maniac looking to take over the world, and there were ordinary people getting stuck in to stop him. They’re old now and need help, or they’ve left people behind who need help so I’m wearing a poppy and flinging them some cash. You can too, here. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to rock out to ‘In The Army’ and think about Jeremy Clarkson holding my hand as together we kick the Taliban in the nuts.

Photo credit: The Zero