We find ourselves in the middle of National Blood Donor Week and it’s given me an idea:

Instead of always referring to seven consecutive days commencing with Monday and ending with Sunday as ‘seven consecutive days commencing with Monday and ending with Sunday’ I’m going to start calling that period of time ‘a week’. That’s what I’ve been doing this week and so far it’s been going down pretty well.

In unrelated news I gave blood this week.

Giving blood is one of yer basic bits of good deeding but not enough people do it. At the time of writing the National Blood Service only has enough blood to last between 5 and 14 days depending on your blood type. That means if you don’t give blood within the next 6 to 15 days and then find yourself on the receiving end of a crazed ninja your last thoughts are likely to be ‘how bitterly ironic.’

Get thee to a blood centre.  If you’re in England or Wales you can do that here or in Scotland here. Your blood could help thousands of crazed ninja victims, people with anaemia, haemophilia, cancer, leukaemia and bone marrow failure, and following childbirth and surgery.

All of which brings us to my latest act of heroism. Yesterday I strolled into the blood centre, filled out a few forms, made some chat with the nurses and then had my blood rejected on the grounds of my health being lousy for about the past 20 years. God damn. Try to do a good thing, they throw the possibility of you pegging out in your face.

Still, Mrs Zero gave blood and so did her friend and with me and Mrs Zero what’s mine is hers and what’s hers is mine which means in a way I did give blood, I just delegated the actual giving part to Mrs Zero’s blood instead. Or assuming no one’s buying that I can at least take credit for Mrs Zero and her friend. That’s two pints of blood donated thanks to me and my efforts of crusading do-goodery. Although it was actually Mrs Zero’s idea.

God damn. There’s nothing here for me at all. I’ll go wait in the car while you give blood. Enjoy your tea and biscuits, you perfectly normal sons of bitches.

Photo credit: The Zero